As a pet lover, I can only relate to the feelings of frustration and frustration that come with waiting for your favorite beloved pet to get back to you after being hit by a car. I wish I could give you some amazing advice like “staying calm” and “be strong”. But, alas, I am not much of a trainer and I do not have much experience with dogs. I do however have a unique experience and that is coming home to an abandoned dog.
A couple of years ago, I moved to the Gulf Coast area of Texas. There was a huge cat colony. I had no idea what was going on with the dogs until I was greeted with a dog mauling incident. A little black female named Bibi was mauled to death by a group of five dogs. The owner had left Bibi in the care of friends who proceeded to let all of the dogs go.
I cried and cried and cried. No one would take her. I tried to get help from the authorities but to no avail. Then I got desperate and I called a rescue group. I explained what had happened but to get Bibi they would have to see her. I was not optimistic. What if they did not take it? She had been mauled. Then my heart broke. I felt like it would not be fair to keep her around.
I knew how they were about animals and the way they treated animals and they would never put up with this. I made up my mind. I called the rescues and made the arrangements to take Bibi to their kennel in Houston. I spent a good hour explaining what happened. We had a long conversation about what I had done and I let them know that I was devastated.
The ladies were understanding and sympathetic and let me know what their policy was about animals left in the care of the rescues and how they never took an animal until they were sure the dog would get home. I was comforted that they were consistent in their policy and relaxed that the dog was safe.
It was cold and dark when we got to the kennel. Bibi was in her crate and the door was closed. She looked miserable. I could see she was in pain. The cold dampness of the crate dampened her response to my touch. I held her and stroked her and tried to keep the tears from flowing.
Within 5 minutes, she was jumping up and down in her crate. Her face was all red and she was happy. We had a long conversation about the rescue. They were great. They had come for her. She wanted to go with them. The cost was small. There would be no financial responsibility. I had just been devastated by my own decision. After all, if the rescue did not take the dog, I would have to keep her. The rescue people were understanding and sympathetic. They were very generous. I was truly comforted.
After leaving for Houston, I was not sure if I would ever see her again. I kept in touch with the rescue people. They offered to take her back, no questions asked. I refused. I was sure the dog would be better off with the rescue. She was not broken or mistreated. She was happy. She had a great life and no one had taken advantage of her. The dog chose to come with the rescue people.
I made sure I gave the dog love and care. I was grateful that she was happy. But that feeling of loss came over me. I looked at the sad thing I had done and how she would not be here to share her happiness. I had hurt her. I let my own heart get in the way of my feelings for the dog. I needed to be with her. I left Houston and the dog took a long walk.
I had a long conversation with the rescue people in Arizona. I apologized for the hurt I had caused them. They accepted the apology. They were more understanding and compassionate than I could ever be. I saw them a few times. They said they would never take a dog again. It was not their problem. I could never have another dog.
Three months after the Houston incident, I was in a motel room with my dog and her owners. They were in the process of a divorce. His wife was living in Florida. They had come to the motel to spend the day with us. As I drove the dog to the car, I thought about all the times I had hurt her.
“I never should have left Houston…”
I pulled into the driveway and my heart broke.
I thought about the feelings I had hurt her. I said the Magic Words. We had an apology and a long conversation. I understood if he was feeling hurt. I said, “If you ever want to come to my home to spend the day with our dog, let me know.”
He did not accept my offer. He said he would not bring the dog to our home. He said he was sorry he had hurt me and his dog. I was sympathetic and explained that our dog was safe and happy with us. He felt responsible and promised not to hurt the dog again. I forgave him and let him know our dog was happy to be with us.
A few weeks later, he called to come to our home. He had been talking to the dog and learning about her life. The dog understood and smiled and wagged her tail at him. I explained it was okay to come and spend the day with her and that we would continue to do our best to love her.
He said he was sorry he had hurt her and that the dog understood. I asked him to be more careful about the other dogs and respect the dog’s feelings that was currently in training. I said it was okay to come to spend the day if he wanted to come and spend the day with the dog.
After several months, he called to come to our home. I said, “Yes, we have been spending more time with her and continuing to teach her the things that are good for her.” He said, “Thank you for everything you are doing for our dog.” He asked if he could go back to his home. “Of course,” I said. “It’s okay,” he said. He took the dog to his home.
I never had the heart to tell my ex-wife that our dog had been hurt. She would not understand. She did not care. My dog never understood why he had been excluded from the house. She felt hurt and forgotten. I felt angry that my ex-wife did not care. Then I thought, “What have I got to be sorry for?”
I am a firm believer that a dog is not a human being. They have their own personality. To humanize a dog is to take advantage of their needs. By humanizing them, we take full advantage of their need for socialization. But dogs are naturally social. If a dog is not included in our family, then they are not part of the pack. It is impossible for them to adjust to being left out for hours as we go to work, school or errands.
The dog was doing his best to adjust. She was doing her best to get noticed. She would come to the door, then bark and get our attention. We were so caught up in our busy lives; we had almost missed her when she started to whine. I screamed, “HEY!” and ran to her. She did not see me. My ex-wife raced in from work.
She heard the whine and screamed, “HEY!” She came running, then my son, my wife, and my son. They all came running, then my neighbor. They all came running. Then the mailman, then the UPS driver, then the dog in his cart, then our parents, grandmother, and mother’s parents. It was a stampede.
There were kids; there were dog-parents; there were people who left the house for hours at a time. It was not unusual to see someone leaving their car running.
My son said, “Dad, all I want is to talk to you, alone, by myself, like the baby always wanted.”
But I knew all of this and I was still upset. I had been on the receiving end of someone’s grief so many times in the past and I was not prepared for this. I had been so busy with my life and my work, I never even had time to notice. I had made up my mind that I was not going to let this happen to my son. I could not imagine how he could leave the house alone with an animal. We live in the 21st century so we have the comfort of technology. We have technology to keep us company. We have toys, food, and toys for our pets.
The dogs had none of this. They slept all day and rested for hours at a time. They ate the same diet as we do, they drank the same water as we do, and they drank more than we do.
If you are the parent of a child, I am sure you have been through the scenario and have even had your child walk to school by themselves. I am sure that you have wondered how your child can do this with an animal.
As an adolescent, I had many friends who were already parents. I do not think they understood the sacrifice that a child is going through. They did not think of the dog as a child. They did not understand what a good dog was doing. In my experience, the parent usually felt that the animal did not understand that they were in pain.
This is not the case. Dogs understand. They have the ability to feel the pain of their owner. It is not the dog’s fault that they cannot understand in a way we expect them to. It is our fault that we have not been able to teach them. It is our responsibility.
To be able to guide and teach a dog, we must have the dog’s attention for some time. This is something that we do with patience and persistence. We need to show them and accept them for what they are and allow them to be. Dogs accept others as they are.
We need to understand that a dog is not a child and we need to respect that. What we do not want to do is have the dog do things that we would not do as a child. For instance, we do not want to pet a dog or hug them and tell them to get down. This would be like a child telling them to get down when they have been standing up. This is not acceptable and is abusive. We allow our children to go to their rooms when they have been crying. We allow them to get in the tub when they are sad. The dog is not allowed to show emotions like we do.
If you decide to adopt a dog, I recommend that you spend some time with your dog. You need to spend some time with them, in their cage, before you bring them home. It is important that the dog knows that you are the leader. It is important that they know that they need your guidance. We do not want to treat them like children, we want to treat them like a member of the family.
We do not want to hug them or pet them when they are sleeping or eating. This would be like a member of the family crying when they have been allowed to cry and be sad. It would be like members of the family getting in the tub or the bed. This is not acceptable and is disrespectful. Dogs are not children, so we must treat them accordingly.
If you decide to adopt a dog, spend some time with your dog and make sure they know that you are the leader. Spend some time with them and make sure that they understand that you are the leader and not them. There are a few dogs that are very smart and then there are others that are really stupid. Dogs are not that stupid, but they are really smart.
I recommend that you spend some time with your dog before you bring them home. This is so you do not introduce anything to your dog that you would not want to introduce to your child. This will avoid a lot of problems.
The dog is not stupid and can easily pick up on body language. They pick up on a lot of body language. They are aware of when you are happy, angry, relaxed, mad, upset or tense. They can pick up on these different emotions. They should understand this. If you become angry and throw things at your dog, they will understand that it is not okay to act that way.
This does not mean that you must hug them and do this, and be angry all the time. You should still show your emotions. They should see your emotions and feel your emotions. When you are happy and wave at them, they should be happy and wave back. They pick up on these emotions. Your dogs will pick up on this and will feel those emotions. The dog will understand that the leader does so. The leader must be dominant and dominant dogs have a lot of aggression. If you do not dominate, they will be dominant and will take control.
If you do not know what I am talking about, I suggest you watch an instructional on “How to socialize your dog.” There are plenty of others on the net as well.